Thursday, December 12, 2013

So, what do you recommend to encourage affection?

“The more that I talk to you the more I fall in love with you.”
— Mallory Terry

Elizabeth Bennet: "And that put paid to it. I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?"
Mr. Darcy: "I thought poetry was food of love."
Elizabeth Bennet: "Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead."
Mr. Darcy: "So what do you recommend to encourage affection?"
Elizabeth Bennet: "Dancing. Even if one's partner is barely tolerable."
(Pride & Prejudice, 2005)

What do I recommend to encourage affection?
I'd say...talking. A never-ending conversation. About anything, about everything.
That's how you fall in love.
...
Well, that's how I fall in love.

source

Friday, July 26, 2013

Terjebak Nostalgia

Ciye banget ga judulnya? Uhuy. Tapi, kali ini bukan tentang cinta-cintaan.

Pernah ngga sih ngerasa kalo kita lagi ga di tempat yang semestinya? Like you don't belong?
Well, I do now.
College life. Setelah ngelewatin 2 tahun masih tetep aja ngerasa something isn't right here. I love my friends and I love what I do, really, tapi tetep aja ngerasa kalo ini bukan tempatku. Di sini aku masih harus mikir what people think about me, what people will think about me if I do this and that. Ngurusin apa kata orang adalah hal paling nggak 'feels like home' buat aku, terutama, di tempat yang akhir-akhir ini aku sebut rumah kedua. Ternyata, aku lagi berada di tempat dimana orang-orangnya sangat suka ngurusin urusan orang lain. A place where how you dress, who you date, who you relate to, become everybody's business. A place where you make a small mistake and people will talk about that for ages. Most people here are so unforgiving, dan tanpa aku sadar, I became one of those people too. How sad.

Aku ini ngapain sebenernya sih? Kesannya nggak bersyukur banget dengan apa yang udah didapet dan dijalani selama 2 tahun ini. That's not it. I'm so grateful for what I've achieved, and for being here, which was my first choice after all. 
Mungkin ini penyakit rindu yah. Lagi liburan dan musimnya buber-buber SMA, bikin kangen dan pengen balik ke jaman itu.

But it would be nice if I could go back though. Pulang ke rumah yang bener-bener rumah, yang hangat dan tidak menghakimi. Tempat dimana sakit hati, berantem nggak jelas, dan salah paham, cuma bertahan 1 malam. A place where people live in peace, letting other people do their thing. A place where who your father is, who your friends are, what mistakes you did in the past, don't matter. A place where I do not need to be a person who people think I am, less pretending, less drama. Tempat dimana aku selalu nggak sabar buat nunggu besok, ngejalanin hari yang aku tau will be better. Tempat dimana aku belum kenal istilah 'fake', 'scenario', 'the truth hurts', dan 'everybody lies'. A place where I was much happier than I am right now.

Aku sedang terjebak masa lalu, dan tak ingin kembali.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Is that...true?

"A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other... maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever."
-Dave Matthews-